Deborah & Heath Campbell, 2009 (© AP Photo/Mike Derer)

Adolf Hitler, 6, won't be returned to Nazi parents

6/2/2012

A Superior Court judge has ruled that the four children (including firstborn Adolf Hitler) of the charming couple above will remain in child welfare custody. Heath and Deborah Campbell's penchant for giving their children Nazi-themed names was discovered after a store refused to personalize a birthday cake for li'l Adolf Hitler. ("Happy Birthday WHO?! Oh HELL no.") Now Heath is offering to give up even hate itself for his children. "If I have to give up my Nazism, then so be it," he said. "I'll do it." Big of you, Heath! We're still in favor of the kids being raised by people who have never said "my Nazism" though.

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Did the New Jersey Superior Court just earn their paychecks or what?