Army tightens dress code for tattoos, bans false eyelashes

Hey, if Elvis could get his pompadour trimmed to go into the Army, surely the next G.I. Joe can lose the earrings. Actually, he'll have to: senior Army officials have come up with 17 new grooming regulations with the intention of becoming a more oppressive - sorry, a more professional - outfit. Among the new no-nos: piercings, tattoos above the neckline or below the wrist and talking on a cellphone while walking. Cosmetics are out for men, fake nails and fake eyelashes for women. If you think you can talk your way around the new regs, try to have a better argument than the soldier who told officers her purple hair was actually auburn. What is this? Don't masque, don't tell?