Bath salts linked to terrified guy car-surfing while naked

Can everybody PLEASE stop taking bath salts? Surely there must be a better fad to get into—something less harmful, like Beanie Babies or genital piercings. Bath salts, in addition to causing all sorts of other crazy hallucinations, can also apparently make you think you're the Terminator. A completely naked Illinois man clung to the hood of a stranger's car for FOUR MILES after taking some. He thought he was running away from people who were trying to eat him, and empty bath salt vials were found among his personal items that police collected. Wait...what if he FOUND the empty vials and the people who took them were actually trying to eat him?! We are officially living in our basement until bath salts are out of the news.