Chocolate achieves elixir status and keeps us thin

We all intuitively knew that chocolate cured depression, and from there it wasn't such a leap of faith to learn that it prevents aging and lowers blood pressure -- now scientists have found that chocolate could keep indulgers slim. No, really! A study of nearly 1,000 people revealed that those who ate chocolate more frequently slid into their skinny jeans more easily than those who only ate it occasionally, and to top it off, the quantity consumed didn't seem to matter at all. @shelleysilas tweets, "This is the kind of news I like!" But a more suspicious @Emerald_Jess tweets she doesn't believe it: "Most likely a sly Easter Egg advert!"