Couple can't wait to get lube home, start Wal-Mart grope fest

You know when you’re so hungry while shopping that you can’t help but bust into a bag of chips before you purchase it? This couple in a Kansas Wal-Mart knows that feeling — except it wasn’t a snack police say they prematurely opened. The pair allegedly used the tube of K-Y Brand Jelly in their cart to streamline an impromptu grope fest in one of the retailer’s fluorescent-lit aisles. According to a local news report, police say the 22-year-old man sexually fondled the 35-year-old woman (cougar alert!) “in front of other shoppers.” The horndogs were arrested, but officers say they weren’t under the influence of drugs or alcohol and were cooperative. They’re lovers, folks, not fighters. [Source]