Farmer looking for Jesus after horny goat runs amok

Oh, Norwegian newspaper. You had us at "After Jesus chased a family up a tree..." The trouble began when a "horny" goat with a name straight out of the New Testament chased a vacationing family up a tree and attacked a police officer, leading to the greatest headline of all time: "Horny Jesus hits cop with massive butt." The Local's Norwegian-to-English translation is probably to blame, but it does sound like Jesus got inappropriately aggressive and that the now-unpredictable animal is destined to be farmer Tor Brede Launes' dinner. His goat is still AWOL after bolting from the farm after the attack, but we'll let you know if Launes does find Jesus.