Girl falls for tree at music festival, makes out with it

​To paraphrase Las Vegas' official tagline, what happens at Miami's Ultra music festival stays at the Ultra music festival. Well, assuming that you don't dump so many recreational chemicals (we're guessing here) into your bloodstream that you attempt to seduce a tree. Because that, friend, will be filmed from multiple angles and placed on YouTube before other festival-goers, including a grown woman in a bikini top and ballet tutu, have even stopped snickering at you. On the positive side, this could be an excellent supplement to your Forest Service job application and at least there's a video explanation as to why you found lichens in your underpants.