Girl says she suffered brain injury after eating tainted KFC

​After years of cheerfully ignoring horror stories about KFC (beakless chickens?) and enjoying our extra-crispy combos, a terrifying story has come along that we can't ignore. An Australian court has ordered KFC to pay a family $10 million in damages because salmonella poisoning from a chicken wrap is said to have severely damaged their daughter's brain in 2005. The girl is now a quadriplegic but is lucky to have survived at all: She was so ill she had last rites administered in the hospital. KFC is appealing the decision, after insisting in court that there was no "sales data" to confirm the purchase (We hope they don't mean a receipt). For that callous defense alone, we're switching to Popeyes.