Guy who stole fast Internet will have to dial-up from jail

That's right. A man was sentenced in a Boston federal court to three years behind bars for stealing Internet access. And now that the rest of you pirates have just jumped offline and Xd out your neighbor's password-unprotected Netgear wireless, here are the details: 28-year-old Ryan Harris didn't just steal bandwith, he made over $400,000 souping up modems and selling products to help other people pirate free faster Internet, including a how-to book. This misguided young man (cough American hero cough) acted out of, as the condemning judge pointed out, "a desire to punish the cable companies." Unless he successfully appeals, Harris' sentence will start in September, and he will be charged $200,000 in restitution fines.