“A Christmas Story,” one of the best-loved Christmas movies in American history, has been hideously bastardized in this “official sequel” that is mercifully headed straight to Blue-Ray. From what we can tell from this gag-inducing trailer, “A Christmas Story 2” picks up during Ralphie’s teen years (now he wants a car, not a rifle. Hope he doesn’t crash an arm off!) and rehashes all of the jokes from the original through his younger brother, with none of the memorable original actors and plenty of brainless slapstick. That the thoughtful classic would be tied to this blatant rip-off is making YouTube commenters see red, and clearly the producers had their eyes only on the green.