Kenneth Kulas of Eastlake, Ohio, was arrested last Saturday in a tobacco store for cursing out the bags of tobacco and attempting to broker a conversation between a bottle of vodka and a customer standing in line (aka disorderly conduct). The arresting officer's hilariously deadpan report notes that "the conversation he tried to convey between the bottle of vodka and the customer made no sense." It’s no real shock that when the allegedly drunk 51-year-old was placed in a holding cell, authorities noted he then "began confessing his love for the cell's urinal." Perhaps that whole beer-goggles thing is true after all. [HuffPost]
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