Eightysomething guy makes rap video, brags that he can still 'do it'

Rapper Kwayzar makes his own brand of "politically driven Cyber Rap" — whatever that is — and spends his free time dropping dolla-dolla bills at, um, Sprouts farmers' market. Kwayzar (the nom-de-rhyme of 83-year-old Stanley Jerry Hoffman) stopped by the bakery and mentioned to a Redditor's girlfriend that he was a rapper. One Reddit post later and the video for his first single "I Can Still Do It" is all over the Internet. We're warning you that by "do it" he means, um, in the bedroom and you're about to hear lines like "I'm a health freak/Pilates and yoga/And gingko biloba." We still like it better than anything by Nicki Minaj.