This bar of Internet gold, minted in 2009 but resurfacing today, comes courtesy of Maryjean Ballner, the world's foremost expert on cat massages. In this instructional video, "So Your Cat Wants a Massage?", the wonderfully ebullient Ballner, who speaks "fluent meow," details such pointers as:
"Remember the old Simon and Garfunkel [lyric], 'Slow down, you’re moving too fast'? That says a lot about life -- and about cat massage.”
"If you're right-handed, use your right hand. If left-handed, use your left. Or, if you're right-handed, use your left and vice versa."
"Is your cat a talker? If so, cat massage will bring out its best mega-meow moments."
"Remember, you can't fool drool."
- "When to cat massage? Whenever! But it's only a matter of time before your cat starts wanting cat massage, then starts DEMANDING cat massage."
The lack of claw marks on her hands and the look of contentment shown by her furry co-star, Champion, suggest that Ballner knows her stuff. (Though there’s a glimpse of Champion's skepticism at the 2:35 mark.) So, do your cat a favor and give it a rubdown pronto, because, as Maryjean says, "Petting is passe!" [Source]
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