London mayor offers an alarming welcome to the Olympics

This video probably doesn't accurately reflect the true sentiments of flamboyant London mayor Boris Johnson as he welcomes the world to the London Olympics. This video, though — culled from TV clips of Johnson's work as a journalist — is funnier than anything Johnson could come up with on his own, as he notes that "something nasty is going to happen to you." In it, Johnson hails the "mouth of the Thames" — where London sits — as "a place of mud and illiteracy and embarrassing diseases." He also describes the Games themselves as opening with "piles of whitened bones and horses heads and the skulls of heads nailed to trees." The most pointed commentary probably concerns the construction of the mega-McDonald's opening for the Olympics: "Get some burgers, or you'll be eaten by bears."