Police hunt for big salads after major mayonnaise heist

Thieves in South Australia are literally holding the mayonnaise - some 92 lbs of it -- after a not-very-daring weekend raid on a refrigerated warehouse in the seaside town of Whyalla. Cops said they were baffled as to what anyone would do with two, 46-pound containers of the popular sandwich spread and salad dressing, but assured readers their men will spread out to find the culprit, and that they are all over the situation. Not really. However, in an uncharacteristically lighthearted press release, police media personnel did ask folks to contact Crimestoppers if they saw anyone making up any really large batches of coleslaw or potato salad. Boom-tish!