Here's the least helpful post-election analysis you'll see

“OK, election follow-up article guys, this is a big deal. Let’s do a graphic of the red states and blue states to illustrate where each party is growing or weakening and how close this last vote was. Wait for all the returns to come in — we don’t want to publish a red state as blue or vice versa. This is our newspaper, and while our industry may be dying and more and more people are reading their news off a smartphone and using newspapers primarily to lay under things they want to spray paint in the back yard, that just means we have to be even more careful and not make any mistakes with this one.” [Source]

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