Rink says 'Say no to crack, yes to skating!' in hilarious ad

​"Wanna check out my van?" the gold chain-wearing creepo asks the kid. "I've got some candy." Is this a long-lost After School Special? A VHS-ed public service announcement? Or the raddest-ever commercial for a Reno, Nevada roller skating rink? If you picked the latter, we'd like to ask you to the next couples skate. This hilariously awkward -- and very real -- local ad for Roller Kingdom in Reno, Nev., captures all the kitsch of those classic circa-1980s anti-drug commercials, from the "I'm saying no!" montage to the scene where the baddies decide to give up their lives of crime. Plus, what better way to promote a decidedly retro pastime than with a totally 80s ad? Consider us hooked, Roller Kingdom.