With a few rare exceptions, first pitches in American baseball are usually a fairly ho-hum event. Some celeb is trotted out to lob the ball somewhere in the vicinity of home plate. Not so in Japan, where a game between the Seibo Lions and the Softbank Hawks kicked off with easily the strangest first pitch ever, a mix of horror and fastball accuracy. Sadako, the freakish character from the film "The Ring," her face completely obscured by waist-length tresses, took the mound accompanied by three tiny versions of herself and proceeded to hurl a reportedly 64 mph pitch. Then she collapsed. Why can't they do this in America? Even if it's weird, it's still better than this guy.