Do not judge the teen jailed for stealing a cheap sex toy — pity him

This is the face of a man who would risk a criminal record and his dignity just to save $16.99. The criminally pitiable Alexander Marcelino Perez was allegedly caught trying to steal a "super sucker" sex toy from a Spencer's store in Bradenton, Fla. According to a sheriff's report, the 19-year-old visited the store to fill out a job application. Before you could say "the masturbator with a real-mouth sensation" he'd taken the device out of its packaging and slid it into his pocket. He's now locked up in Manatee County jail, the poor SOB unable to come up with a $120 bond. [Source]

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