Spider-Man would need gross, hairy hands to scale skyscrapers

We've already discovered Batman would die if he tried flying with that cape of his in real life. Not content with ruining just one superhero, science has turned its attention to another: Spider-Man. According to the buzzkills at AsapSCIENCE, your friendly neighborhood web-slinger wouldn't be able to scale walls unless his hands and feet were permanently covered with hair (which is how actual spiders scuttle around). Ick. Even Andrew Garfield isn't adorable enough to pull that off. On the bright side, it turns out it's "theoretically possible" — just amazingly unlikely — for a retrovirus to mutate a human into a human-spider hybrid.