Police broke up a brawl in St. Helens, England, that started inside a church during evening Mass. According to the cops, 30 people were involved in the blasphemous behavior, which terrified elderly worshippers who scurried out a side door. Some of the attackers were rather industrious, using nearby religious items such as candlesticks in their smackdown. Reports suggest two men started the fracas by trying to rip each other to pieces during the service. Residents are probably hoping no one upstairs noticed these unholy actions and is preparing a St. Helens-based plague of something crawly or contagious. [Source]
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