Swedish songstress wins Eurovision, whatever that is

It's an exciting conclusion to the Eurovision finale, especially for the adorable Buranovo Grannies who placed second in the European singing contest. (Remember their hot jam "Party for Everybody"?) However, there can only be one winner (sorry, Jedward), and it's Sweden's Loreen with a dance hit "Euphoria." This means Sweden wins hosting duties for next year's Eurovision, and Jedward's inexorable march towards futuristic pop domination has been, for the present, slowed considerably. (The Irish tween idols earned 46 points to the Swedish songstress's 372. ) Admittedly, we're a little confused about what exactly a Eurovision is and how it works, but the contest helped launched the careers of both ABBA AND Celine Dion, so it's clearly a glamorous and possibly mystical force.