If you're not getting enough toxic mercury in your diet, try the tuna

Eat fish, they said. It will be good for health, they said. Yeah, thanks, guys. According to a study from Maine's Biodiversity Research Institute, 84 percent of the fish we eat contains unsafe levels of mercury, which can permanently damage the brain and kidneys. Tuna and swordfish contain the most, with much of our supply coming from the apparently mercury-laden South China Sea. So, if you're slamming down stinky cans of fish pulp faster than you can say "low carb," you might want to just relax and eat a Twinkie or something — it might actually be better for you. [Source]

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